Another story for ‘Let’s Get Real’ – Today we’re talking about temper tantrums…
I have a 2 year old who thinks he’s 15 years old and can have whatever he wants, whenever he wants.
His temper is next level, when he doesn’t get what he wants, when he doesn’t know what he wants and when he’s just generally in a shit mood.
The tantrums kind of came out of nowhere for us. One day we had a happy, smiley little 18mth old, and the next we had a moody toddler who couldn’t express his emotions in any way other than hitting, kicking, yelling & screaming.
Now I’ll be the first to admit, I do not handle tantrums well. I tend to react without thinking and I just end up yelling; which we all know does nothing to a toddler who is on a rampage. He will continue to tantrum until he is done, whether I’m yelling or not.
Believe me, I have read pretty much every forum, advice page and Facebook group there is to find different ways to handle Leo’s tantrums and it seems as though, it’s just going to be a trial and error process.
Which is extremely stressful, but I have to understand every child is different, reasons for tantrums are different for each kid and what works to calm them down is completely luck of the draw.
From what I’ve learnt, most tantrums come from nothing more than miscommunication.
Mums and dads miscommunicating with toddlers; and toddlers miscommunicating with parents. Purely due to the toddlers not having the words to express their feelings and their wants/needs.
Leo definitely has huge trouble communicating what he wants. And his reaction to not getting what he wants is an immediate display of yelling, kicking, hitting and crying. Even over the smallest of things.
It’s not an every single day thing, but the tantrums are definitely often. More often than I’d like to admit.
But he is such a good kid outside of that, he’s so loving & caring and has such a sweet soul.
So to see him so beyond upset that he resorts to hitting to get what he wants, just completely breaks my heart.
And it absolutely breaks my heart every single night when I replay the tantrums in my head that occurred that day, and feel super guilty about how I reacted.
I don’t want to have major mum-guilt every night because of my non-handling of Leo’s tantrums. I want to get better, I need to get better.
So recently, we have started with a two-step process of attempting to stop his tantrums.
Distraction is key. Redirecting his attention or ‘want’ for things onto something else that is more accessible. We usually have to offer him a few alternatives to draw his attention away from the original item that he wanted.
And if that doesn’t work…
A time-out for the continued bad behaviour, at the moment it only involves 2 minutes in his room alone, followed by a hug & a kiss to say sorry.
It’s too soon to tell if it’s actually working, but I’ll be sure to let you know!
I hope me being open and honest about my #terribletwos experience, it will help other mumma’s feel less alone, and to create a sense of community between us all. We need to support one another, & help guide each other through all the hard times of parenting 🙂
And to finish it off, here is a picture of my beautiful baby boy, when he was in a good mood, clearly 😛
Do you have any advice, tips or tricks that work for you with your toddlers?
I’ll happily try anything you’ve got! 😫